Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Helpful Hints

It has been a while since we had a good list. Hopefully, you think this is a good one. So, from my years of experience, here goes (in no particular order):

Don't forget to remind hubby to take your garbage out on trash pickup day. You won't like the way it smells for another week.

Don't get cocky and think you are doing so well on your A/C bill that you can turn it on a tiny bit longer. This will cost you $200 more the next month. ($500 electric bill! AAAAggghhh!)

Don't wait till your weeds are waist high to pull them. Get 'em while they are small. They are much easier to pull out. And soak 'em with water first. Then you won't fall on your butt trying to pull them out.

Don't buy a house with a slope that you have to maintain. It will be covered in weeds forever.

Don't let your cute little bushes get so bushy next to your house so that you do not notice the gopher who has made a home behind your sprinkler valves.

Don't leave the jumbo size bottle of bubbles where your five year old can reach it. She will try to pour it in the bubble mower and you will have bubble solution all over your garage floor.

Don't wait to pull the dead stick tree out of your front yard. Do it when it dies. This way, you will have a much better view that you didn't realize you were missing.

Don't leave the weeds that you spent all your time picking in a pile on the grass. The weeds will flower, causing more weeds than ever in the spot where you left them lying.

Don't buy a female german shepherd dog that is bred for schutzhund training to be a back yard dog. She will have too much energy and you will have a destroyed backyard.

Don't get a patio built by a friend of a friend. Get someone you don't know and nobody else knows.

Don't lose the contract from said patio builder. File it. Do not put it with your junk mail.

Don't keep your junk mail. Get rid of it. If you do keep it, file it immediately and do not let it end up in boxes with the rest of your junk. It will take months to find something when you go to look for it.

Don't take husband to car dealer. Go yourself and decide what you like. After you have decided, then bring husband along.

Do not trade in perfectly good vehicle for smaller perfectly good vehicle when husband likes larger perfectly good vehicle.

When husband pouts about not having large perfectly good vehicle anymore, don't remind him of all the reasons why you traded in large PGV. Instead, just let him mourn the loss and move on.

Don't wait three weeks to mow your lawn. The lawn will be too difficult to mow and you will wish you had done it sooner since it looks so nice.

Don't send husband to custom tailor by himself to pick out fabric for custom-made clerical shirt. Husband will not believe tailor about wrinklability of said fabric and will order it anyway. You will be forever ironing.

Don't iron a tablecloth before you know if it fits on the table you plan on putting it on.

DO have a great day today and think of all the things you won't do now that you know better!